Sometimes I want to throw myself off the roof, or cry until I’m numb.
Sometimes I want to text you and tell you I fucking miss you, or that I hope a bus hits you.
Sometimes I want to make some friends, or drink until I blackout.
Sometimes I want to hug my mom and tell her how bad things are getting, or swallow a bottle of pills and not wake up.
Sometimes I want to make my life better, or just stop breathing.
Sometimes I want to drown myself in the ocean so at least the place I die could be beautiful when I couldn’t be.
if u watch closely while i take tests u can see me mouthing profanity at the test paper
you know since “fuck” and other swears have become such a regular part of my vocabulary they’ve begun to lose impact
so instead I’ve come to realize I’m using non swear words like “heck” for some sort of twisted ironic emphasis
I have come full circle